Since losing my most beloved Chuck, my true one and only, to COVID on January 24, I have been stumbling and falling, and not wanting to get up. It has been an unspeakable and ongoing shock the whole experience of him being in the hospital without me being able to be with him, him contracting COVID in the hospital and then dying of it when he was otherwise recovering from his surgery was and is. COVID was at low ebb all along, but just when it looked like he was on the way home, viciously turned on him! Suddenly: he was intubated , sedated, and put on a respirator. He endured only 8 more days. We did not even have the opportunity to say good-bye! I am left with only his bathrobe to cling to, and I do cling to it. I am very alone now, and devastated.