Georgia

We were so careful as our two daughter and my husband were high risk for covid. Shane was waiting to have surgery so he hardly ever left the house. He was the first to get it. We thought it allergies. 3 days later with his oxygen at 75 I said goodbye on the sidewalk outside the ER as the nurse wheeled him away. The next day he way in the ICU with covid pneumonia in both lungs. He was placed on Bi-pap. Covid starting attacking his heart. No matter what they gave him his lungs and heart were not getting better. On Monday the 20th I had a conversation with the Dr about how this was going to be a long process and he would probably be there a month but they felt he would recover. 3 hrs later I got the worst call ever that he was gone. I never got to talk to him that day, my daughters never got to say goodbye. There are no words to accurately explain how horrible this experience was.

My mother began feeling ill on Friday, March 27th. By Sunday, she was struggling to breathe and the paramedics were called. She was not running a fever so they left. They were called again that evening and she was running a fever and gasping for air. We were rushed by ambulance to the nearest hospital and were turned away in the parking lot because the ICU was already full. She was in respiratory distress and on full oxygen. I had to basically almost get myself arrested to get anyone to listen to me -the admissions people would not even listen to the paramedics. Finally a security guard who was ready to escort me off the property checked inside the ambulance and told the admissions staff they had to admit her. Less than 15 minutes later, the ER doc called me and told me if I wanted to give her any chance at all, I had to allow her to be incubated. I agreed. They stabilized her and had her life flighted from South Georgia to the Northeast Georgia Medical Center in Gainesville, 5 hours away from where we live. I immediately drove up there and checked myself into a nearby hotel and the only communication I could have regarding her was through nurses. They were as gracious and accommodating as they could be given the circumstances. For the next 18 days, I was alone, worried and scared not only for my mom but for myself. I knew I had been exposed not only from my mom but both paramedics that I drove to the hospital with were positive at the time but did not know it. This was early on and the only way you could get tested if you were asymptomatic was from a doctor referral. My doctor refused to allow me to get tested even though the hospital where my mom was said that it was no problem to test me there, but they were not accepting any new patients that were not critical unless by referral. I had no idea if I was going to get sick and if I did, would I wind up in the hospital too? If that happened, who would be able to check in and be my mom’s health advocate? Not knowing if I was contagious, I did not leave that hotel room for 18 days. I did door dash for food and my husband drove up a few times to bring me fresh clothes. I heard from my mom’s nurses twice a day – some days they made a little progress with weaning her off the ventilator and some days there was no change. At two weeks on the ventilator, they were becoming, in their words, “gravely concerned.” My mom was always fiercely independent – she would never have wanted to live on life support. I communicated that with the staff. They were not ready to give up on her and were doing everything they could. The hospital put in place an advocate program for families of covid patients for better communication. I was very grateful and wish that had been in place the whole time I was there. My advocate kept in close communication. She even took time to speak to my brother so that I did not have to explain to him what was happening and decisions that were going to have to be made. Mom always took care of everything for us growing up, she was one of those “super moms”. I guess on some level maybe she wanted to spare me having to make those difficult decisions although I was prepared to make them as I had done for my dad two years ago. On the morning of April 15th, my healthcare advocate called and said she was suddenly declining quickly and she raced up to my mom’s room so that I could maybe speak to her one last time but it was too late, she was already gone. I was with my dad for 4 days in hospice and I was there at the very end for him. There was closure for me. I think one of the most difficult parts of this for me has been the lack of closure. On the way to the hospital, I did hold her hand the entire time and told her I loved her. I hope that is the last thing she remembered. She was an amazing lady. She lost her left arm in an accident when she was a child but she never let that stop her from doing anything she wanted to do. She drove a stick shift car, showed horses and was an excellent swimmer. She over came two back surgeries, two rotator cuff surgeries, and survived a stroke a year ago and totally recovered. She deserved so much better than to have died alone, surrounded by strangers. I could not have a funeral for her, she was old fashioned and would have wanted one. Losing her this way has been very difficult for me. I miss you everyday mom, you were my hero.

On June 30th my mom woke up with all the symptoms of Covid-19. She was in Florida and we think she got Covid-19 from a Mexican restaurant she ate at on June 28th. She had a virtual visit with the doctors in FL – they gave her steroids and antibiotics. She couldn’t get a covid test for days because they were so booked. My aunt was with her and was able to drive them back to Ga. On July 6th mom went to the ER for a covid test, she was in a fib. They sent her home with blood thinners. Two days later the covid test came back positive. The next day, My aunt had to call 911 on 7/9/20 and mom went to the hospital with double pneumonia from COVID. It was touch and go until 7/11/20 and I got a call at 5 am that she was having to be intubated. I almost passed out. Her last words to the nurse were “call my daughter.” I knew going on the vent only gave her about 50% chance of surviving. It was gut wrenching day and night. I was not allowed at the hospital… I told them I would sign every right away. I was able to FaceTime to see her. One day-she blew me kisses and gave us a thumbs up. We thought she would pull through until that night. She vomited through the vent and aspirated and it went to her lungs. It was all down hill from here. Mom was at Tanner hospital in Villa Rica, Ga- I Begged EVERYDAY to have her transferred to a hospital with more advanced care. They are telling me everyday she’s critical, her blood pressure won’t stay up, the vent is at the full setting, we are going to have to paralyze her so she will stop fighting the vent, her X-ray of her lungs doesn’t look any better. Finally…. she was transferred to a Kennestone on 7/20/20 via ambulance. I was so scared she wouldn’t make the transfer but I had no choice at this point. 7/20/20 she tested COVID Negative. She had had plasma and rimdesivir at Tanner and all the other “miracle” steroids etc. At Kennestone, she continued to decline… she couldn’t maintain her blood pressure, vent was maxed, her kidneys failed and palliative care called. I had to make a decision- she could go into cardiac arrest at any moment. I wanted to be in control- not the damn virus. My husband and I went to the hospital on 7/24/20 to say good bye. We were in full on PPE. I made a choice to turn the vent off at 5:00… because it’s 5’o’clock somewhere and she could make it to heaven for a drink. I held her hand while she passed. Her body was ravaged by covid. It took 8 minutes. First her thumb went cold then the rest of her hand. I will never be ok that my perfectly healthy mother died of COVID. Her X-rays of her lungs were completely white… they should be black.

Mom packed up 73 yrs of her life & moved from CT to GA to be with me & her grandsons. Life was good. She was working part time, we went on day trips, she loved the warmer weather, she was enjoying the grandsons & her little dog. 8 months later she went to the hospital with a fever & a headache. It was so early on in the pandemic, we never imagined her trip to the ER would lead to being intubated & then death 33 days later. What a wonderful, selfless, loving, caring, giving, energetic, stylish, faithful person she was. We have fond memories of her but she is terribly missed. Our hearts are broken. She was my best friend. There is a piece of my heart that is gone. The only good thing about her death is that I know she is in a much better place. I am thankful that I was able to be with her when she left this life & walked into the arms of our heavenly father.

My father, my best friend, died on August 22. He moved to Georgia in January to be closer to me and my family, and we were all excited he was living a short 15 minutes away. Little did I know that such a time would only last eight months. My father was a Cardiologist who saved thousands of lives during his 40-year career, and was very sensitive to the suffering of others. I believe that is part of what made him a great doctor. He loved to learn, had many hobbies, including playing the guitar and watercoloring, and always had time for me. Whether I was 3 or 38, he was always there for me. He was the same way with my children. He had a special relationship with each one of them. Watching him be a fantastic grandfather, as he was a fantastic father, always made me happy. Now, we are devastated and left to figure out life without him. I took care of him the week before he was finally hospitalized (they kept insisting he “recover at home” despite worsening symptoms). I contracted COVID myself. I had a mild case. I miss my dad more than words can describe. There are some days I can’t bear the pain of it. He didn’t deserve this, and neither did all the other 210,000 Americans.